10. Krautrock
Krautrock is a peculiar genre in the fact that it spawned great music that was not ashamed to admit that it was influenced by the Krautrock genre. The difference was, the modern musician sped up the trance that was supposed to happen in Krautrock, and created forms of trance, whether in the genre of house or rock in general. Going back to the “oldies but goodies” though, one has to endure a session of a Neu album, unless of course one wants to put on inconspicuous background music. If that’s the case, there’s much better played elevator music for this like Johnny Mandel and any lounge music in general. Just as long as it’s not Nickelback, it will serve as much better background music. But something about sounded interesting, so of course it had to be good. Interesting is relative, and so then Krautrock can be recognized as good while being the last thing anyone would listen to.
9. Modern R and B
Modern R and B has been the butt of many a comedian’s joke. The pseudo-suave beginning with the protagonist speaking in a soft urban voice either expressing his “infinite” love of the other, or repenting from his sin of cheating on her. It’s from here that cheese blasts into pure comedy with strings swirling up to ostensibly capture the moment of the lovers highest affection for the other…or his phallic-mania masquerading as “love”, a term as ungrounded and relatively used as “God” and “Presence”, even more so than the later because of the cultural acceptance of the idea as a grund (primoris res). Grounding of ungrounded ideas aside, the cheesiness of modern R and B is all pervading. It’s not just in the music, it’s in the videos too. Hulking men professing love. The dichotomy between physical strength and spiritual Eros? In the West? No, this isn’t Greek antiquity. One is a mask for the other. Which one you ask? Last I heard the world population is growing exponentially.
8. Modern Blues
Traditional blues, the blues of Robert Johnson and Chuck Berry are undoubtedly the precursor to any form of pop music in general and should be privileged for because of it. That musicians can continue playing what was played 70 years ago however is not strange to a culture whose fever for archiving anything that at one point was considered “good” is obsessive. The absolute bore of listening to blues now after this many years is overbearing. That musicians who play the style are not bored by it must find their motivations for playing the style in other grounds other than enjoying what they’re playing. Pleasing an elderly audience? Pleasing a younger crowd who parasitically followed an elderly audience? Pleasing a dingy bar with people who like this style? Something is going on with “Pleasing”, but it doesn’t have anything to do with music.
7. Punk
Punk music was always on it’s way with the flexibility of pop music starting from the 50’s. It was only a matter of time that a group wouldn’t like it’s surrounding context because it appeared to a majority as “successful”. Instead of personally doing away with the concept of success, and more importantly with what was considered as success, punk music found it’s grounding in not expressing it’s own psychological neuroses, much for the sake of finding it’s own success, because it couldn’t find it in it’s own context. Now, this attitude is understandable at it’s inception. For the reason of novelty alone qualifies the act of punk, but that the genre so parasitically attached itself to anyone picking up an instrument is the problem of the style. For anyone, any child, looking for an identity now, they can find it in a context they don’t currently occupy and chances are, never will. Much like emo, without an appropriate subject for the musician, there’s an imaginary subject made up to exert one’s energy towards. This making up of a subject to “rise against”, to always oppose itself too, sounds as flat as the notes being played in the genre.
6. Pop Metal
When you look on you tube under the term “Speed Metal” and “Grindcore” you find clips of adroit fans incessantly attacking what is perceived as fake Speed Metal and Grindcore. Not coming from a Metal background, I can’t tell the difference but one thing came over my mind when listening to the music being compared, but what I do know is that these people have probably have so much disdain for pop metal that they don’t even consider it music. While I would probably have different reasons for disliking Pop metal than a Grindcore purist, the singular complaint would probably be analogous. It’s soft shit that tries to sound hard. It doesn’t matter how big a bassist’s biceps are, if he’s still playing soft music, he’s soft. The feigning for grittiness in bands like “Dead by April” and “A Day To Remember” is obvious. No amount of tattoos can save either band from sounding like Ben Stiller in Dodgeball.
5. Mainstream Country
Modern Country is at least noticeable when it comes on the radio. It only take less than a half a second to switch the channel because the sound of this emetic genre is so unpleasant. It’s ultra polished, if not the most polished sound on modern radio, even more so than modern Hip Hop and R and B. The goofy southern accent singer talks about what he usually talks about. The ideas are too obvious to point out without feeling guilty of stating something so obvious. Mainstream Country is the money train, where people go to relax and gain a sense of “home-goingness”, whatever that means…being at home, not moving, doing what your neighbor does, getting in a fight with your neighbor for a slight oscillation in personality that is perceived. This music doesn’t move and doesn’t want to move. It sits as comfortably as a patient with dementia in a retirement home.
4. Hip Hop
While Hip Hop’s roots were the grounds for some hypnotic grooves unheard of until its point, it was it’s aging form that became grossly overused. No longer were good beats a matter for the modern Hip Hop musician, but was simply the objectification of sexual intercourse in every possible way; as if sex had not already lost it’s ostensible taboo in the 80’s with Madonna and other “express yourself” artists. Of course maybe this was the “true” lifestyle of the hip hop musician. Coming from the context of the Ghetto gives one the authority to do whatever they want, because after all they come from shit, so we must sympathize with this shittyness by simply being empathetic, meaning not having the right to see modern Hip Hop as absolutely unsubstantial and lacking in an power subtle enough to win for itself a legacy of class. Bring on the leveling of culture through political correctness. Hip Hop must deserve its privileged place as the thin line between money and caveman.
3. The Nickelback Genre or Mainstream FM “rock”
The Nickelback genre of music is so obviously a bad genre that even those who say they like itknow it’s really bad. If it’s randomly playing on FM radio in the backyard of raised ranch backyard BBQ, people will hear it in the background and not say anything about it. Only some will ever say they like the song, and will be convinced otherwise in a matter of seconds if they so easily can be grabbed by something so vacuous. No one could even admit to liking the song on the grounds of a guilty pleasure. It’s neither a pleasure nor a guilty pleasure to listen to, but a guiltless bad pleasure. You’re just listening to a very definite idea of “bad” when listening to Nickelback and every band that sounds like them. Unfortunately for a linguistics that would like to transcend the binary opposition of bad/good, it has to face the patent obviousness of bad in the Nickelback genre. It’s powerfully bad.
2. Emo
When the luxury of a culture reaches it’s apex, the energy not being used by those who are unconsciously enjoying the luxury is often displaced into disingenuous forms. In the case of Emo, this inappropriateness comes from an effusive (more accurately termed ‘mawkish’) reaction to one’s opulent surroundings. This space for effusion is without an object. The searching for an energetic object in this empty space creates a form of music that is strictly maudlin in character. It’s maudlin for the sake of being maudlin. Within an empty space, the effusion for any object in general to ruminate over creates unsubstantial objects for the sake of subjective yearning. Romeo and Juliet, by prose and by time, lived within a context; this context was appropriate for their excessive yearning, the context of the late 20th century however was never appropriate for the type of yearning known in Emo. No one seemed to tell the self-identifying “Emo fan” that “it’s called life”.
1. Indie
The worst thing to happen to the elegance and taste of Pop music was Indie music. The nauseating compulsion for every band to label themselves as “Indie” now is not difficult to understand. The underlying premise of Indie music was unchecked creativity for the sake of itself. The interest that one could muster into these bands would have to take thousands upon thousands of listens to “understand”; another premise of the style (that it was always and already in need of having to be understood). Unchecked creativity is not guilty for some anachronistic, obscurely Christian idea of emptiness, but guilty of never having to think that creativity is in need of being checked. The amount of bands that stemmed from the idea of “Indie” music was enormous just for this reason; because anyone could pick up any instrument, make any noise they wanted and it would be deemed as “good”, because anything that’s expressed is automatically “good”. You no longer had to be a musician, no longer had to write good songs, no longer had to do anything other than to strike a note on any instrument to be privileged as “innovative”; that bastardized term that has undermined the soul of inherent quality.
